He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
