You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
