Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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