Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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