i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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