those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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