If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
