She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
