it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
