i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
