is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
