I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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