Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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