dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
