This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
