I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
