There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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