You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
high people should be assigned attendants
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How does one acquire holy water?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
