The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
