apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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