there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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