She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
