I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
