i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
