I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
