We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you had me at cake vodka
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I want is dick and wine.
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