Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
