dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
