The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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