Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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