I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
