he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
