Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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