I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
