You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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