and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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