just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
