That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
