hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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