I love black thongs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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