Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
