I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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