recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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