He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
