Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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