Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
