So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
