He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
