East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You ate ashes out of my bong
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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