My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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