Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
