Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize