I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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