I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
