i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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