If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
