ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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