Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
