so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
