Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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